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"Alone"
Feb. 1996
I
spend every single night
Dying alone is my ultimate fright
I don't wanna be the only one
Things to offer others I
have none
I sit in the dark, but candlelight
I am alone every single night
I'm in an empty room
My tears magnify
the doom
I can only talk to myself
I feel so small, I'm an elf
Why do I feel this way
Why do I cry all day
Why
am I alone, I say
Why do I cry all day
No one understands my thoughts
My emotion inside me rots
I'm not normal
in my view
But is normal really true
Every one has left me in the dust
I sit alone and watch my hear bust
Break
open to all of you
Your vision of me is so new
Why do I feel this way
Why do I cry all day
Why am I alone,
I say
Why do I cry all day
Why do I feel this way
Why do I cry all day
Why am I alone, I say
Why do I cry all
day |
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"Perfect"
3-96
I
dream everyday and every night
Of somebody to treat me right
She'll look deep down inside me
And have confidence
I'm worthy
She'll think about me a lot
And worship every thought
She'll look forward to my company
Her personality
would be lovely
But that's a dream (repeated)
I'd hug her and feel her heat.
And listen to her every heartbeat
She
would realize our undtying love
As we look at the stars above
We'd sit and look at each other smile
Which would make
us both agile
She would never put herself down
And because of that she would never frown
She'd tell me when something
wrong
Then we'd listen to our favorite song
And to make everything go better
I would never leave her
But that's
a dream (repeated)
We would agree to committment
And increase our excitement
No one would ever come between us
Every
moment would be sensuous
We'd never ignore each other
And we'd know there'd never be another
God, I'd love her
so much
I'd remember every touch
I'd think about her everyday
And look forward to hear her say. .
"I love you"
and
I'd love her too
But that's a dream (repeated)
Baby, I need you honey
I'm afraid of myself
And what I
might to
To myself
I'd be so happy
Now i'm feeling so crappy
I've got the pain in my gut
I wanna give myself
a cut
I'd treat you like gold
I'd protect you from the cold
I'd give you my everything
And hope you treat me like
a king
I need you (repeated) |
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"Betrayal"
1996
You
spend your life for others
But then they act like fuckers
I'm really sick of being
Stabbed in the back
My life
is quickly falling through the cracks
You do your best to make her proud
Then she fucks the rest of the crowd
Can
I trust anyone in this fucking world
I get betrayed again and again
I see the life I'm living in
My death should
now begin
I know begin my own book of rules
To put down all those fucking fools
Thal shall not treat thy woman
like shit
That shalt thy woman never be hit
Respect thy friend as a person
Make sure he's never hurting
Thall
shall fall asleep for me to weep
Can I trust anyone in this fucking world
I get betrayed again and again
I see
the life I'm living in
My death should now begin
And again my friend I cry
And every minute I become more shy
All
I wannt you to say is
I'm sorry, that's all |
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"Uncommon"
1997
I
don't know what I have
I always feel so numb
Can't look in the face
Can't see the blood from my eyes
So far from
my reality
Death looks me in the face
Don't have a fucking star in the sky
Don't have a fucking tear I can cry
Scattered
things that once owned
Laugh at my scarrful life again
No one feels the pain I endure
No one knows the reason why
I cry
Emotional and physical pain
To you this is all just a game
Dark light faces my face
You don't wanna see
my face
I am alone, so seclusive
I don't know what I'm holding
If you care, show it
Then I got something
to hold
Vibrations erupt my cries
Tear at me with these constant lies
Though I feel honor and happiness
To bright
your day
Peel these life-telling scars off of me
They see who I am (repeated)
Though most I don't help
I
do the best I can
Sway while I cry for you
But that means nothing to you
Underestimate what I've been through
Slap
me in the face with your rejection, your rejection
You're assumed painless comments
Peel these life-telling scars
off of me
They see who I am (repeated)
I do the best I can (repeated)
They see who I am (repeated) |
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"Bored"
1997
-first
light hearted lyrics I wrote
Who do I please? Who do I reach
I'm not at all satisfied with who I fucking am
I'm
not strange, I'm too common
Not far enough into the extreme
I'm bored with me (x2)
Not to blind to see that
I'm unoriginal
Creat something new, nothing new for you
I'm bored with me (x2)
Find some fucking strange
way
To change my personal appearence
Scare you or at least make you look twice
Maybe lift some eyebrows or at least
make you think
I'm bored with me (x2) |
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"Ward"
June, 1996
Oh
my god, I'm shoved in here
Oh my god, I've got everything to fear
Sit in the window and stare outside
Hope I'll get
out n have nothing to hid
I can't seem to forget
That I'm shoved in here
Away from those I have loved
And breathing
in pumped air
No nicotine, no conversation, just pain
Regretted thoughts continually clog my brain
Doors locked,
key to me thrown away
I don't wanna live through this day
Take my blood and get out
I just wanna be alone
Let
me die, that's what I want
I just wanna be alone
But sometimes I only wish
For someone to wanna help me
No
reward, just the happiness of me
But selfishness is all I've yet to see
Take my blood and get out
I just wanna be
alone
Let me die, that's what I want
I just wanna be alone |
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